But are we really "OK"?
They say time is the healer of all things. Wouldnt it be great if there was a scientific method of actually putting a limit to this time. Break-up now then take max a week to deal with the massive rollercoaster of emotions and move swiftly along with life. No reminising of the good old days that ended in disaster...just cry a river,build a bridge and get over it in a week. Sadly,this will never happen.
The bright side of going through all this,is that a person really grows and discovers many qualities about themselves that they never knew existed. Many self-help/relationship-advice books tell us that we control what happens in our lives,when it comes to significant others. If you knew the type of person that individual was before you commited yourself to them, why act suprised at the turn-out of the relationship? Truth is,most of us are just too delusional (or some just desperate) that we choose to look past those characteristics of a person that we know will ultimately hurt us in the end. We choose to believe that if we give it more time, if we commit more to the relationship,that this individual will change. And let us not even mention the ones who fall for someone who is commited already...that should've been a red-light from the beginning.
But,alas...humans never quite learn from their past mistakes. Suckers for pain. Suckers for punishment.
Is it possible that one can get addicted to the feeling of being rejected and depressed? No, I dont think so at all. We're all in that search for happiness,search of fullfillment-and we are never quite satisfied are we?
So another relationship has crashed and burned. The one you were convinced to be "the one", didnt turn out to be "the one". It isnt the end of the world. For this i prefer the quote "If your single it is because God isnt ready to share you yet"... over.."There are plenty of fish in the sea".
Take this opportunity to re-evaluate your life,your needs,your priorities. Because as a young woman in my early 20s, finding "the one" shouldnt really be number one on my list of priorities-and that is where the problems started. I'm not saying throw it completely off your list, i'm saying be patient. These kinda things DO happen in their own time. And I am a true believer in the saying "Good things come to those who wait".
Think about the type of person that you really want in your life...meditate and pray over it. The man upstairs hears you :).
Ladies if your heart was broken in 2010 (maybe more than once),get over the bitterness and stop holding onto the pain and resentment. It only eats away at the beautiful person that is you and prevents you from growing and moving forward. There is much much much better for you out there. Stop looking so damn hard :)
Post is dedicated to Tumaini *mwa* love you babe
Cool post ...
ReplyDeleteMay 2011 be there year that ladies meet the finest, most caring, God fearing men ever who will propose and take them to the altar...can I get an Amen? :)
"Truth is,most of us are just too delusional (or some just desperate) that we choose to look past those characteristics of a person that we know will ultimately hurt us in the end.".....couldn't have put it better myself.
ReplyDeleteIts unfortunate when we need a level head our emotions take over and very few have the strength and ability to make the right tough decision.
I think as people we need to have more confidence in ourselves, our purpose and what we deserve in life. Give as you expect to get - set the standard by being the person you expect your partner to be. Surrounding ourselves with people with the same values and beliefs is an excellent start.
No I'm not advocating being a loner and not socializing. There should always be a distance kept. The power of peer pressure is intense, and the biggest mistake is thinking it stays in high school and once we grown we cannot be victims.
Always good to have that girlfriend telling you "girl, he ain't right for you", and sticking to that. Creating that forward upfront relationship with your friends - where they will tell you the truth even if it will hurt - and it wont hurt as much because you know deep down inside they have your best interests.
And the guys need to get over the macho stance, and not worry about what my mates will think..cuz believe it or not, most relationships that fail as a result of man, its because of worry over his mates opinions.
Just food for thought. Interesting read. More posts coming in 2011??