We'll be OK.

Joss Stone's "Bruised but not broken",Heather Headley's "I wish I wasn't", Alicia Keys' "Try sleeping with a broken heart", Mariah Carey's "Standing O", Toni Braxton's "Another sad love song", Whitney Houston's "Its not right (but it's ok)" , Meshell Ndegeocello's "Fool of me".....the list is endless,of music that one plays when their "heart is broken". These are usually followed by music from the likes of Kelly Clarkson and Evanescence...anger and resentment-type music,which allows you to vent and that leaves you feeling "OK".
But are we really "OK"?

They say time is the healer of all things. Wouldnt it be great if there was a scientific method of actually putting a limit to this time. Break-up now then take max a week to deal with the massive rollercoaster of emotions and move swiftly along with life. No reminising of the good old days that ended in disaster...just cry a river,build a bridge and get over it in a week. Sadly,this will never happen.

The bright side of going through all this,is that a person really grows and discovers many qualities about themselves that they never knew existed.
Many self-help/relationship-advice books tell us that we control what happens in our lives,when it comes to significant others. If you knew the type of person that individual was before you commited yourself to them, why act suprised at the turn-out of the relationship? Truth is,most of us are just too delusional (or some just desperate) that we choose to look past those characteristics of a person that we know will ultimately hurt us in the end. We choose to believe that if we give it more time, if we commit more to the relationship,that this individual will change. And let us not even mention the ones who fall for someone who is commited already...that should've been a red-light from the beginning.
But,alas...humans never quite learn from their past mistakes. Suckers for pain. Suckers for punishment.
Is it possible that one can get addicted to the feeling of being rejected and depressed? No, I dont think so at all. We're all in that search for happiness,search of fullfillment-and we are never quite satisfied are we?

So another relationship has crashed and burned. The one you were convinced to be "the one", didnt turn out to be "the one". It isnt the end of the world. For this i prefer the quote "If your single it is because God isnt ready to share you yet"... over.."There are plenty of fish in the sea".
Take this opportunity to re-evaluate your life,your needs,your priorities. Because as a young woman in my early 20s, finding "the one" shouldnt really be number one on my list of priorities-and that is where the problems started. I'm not saying throw it completely off your list, i'm saying be patient. These kinda things DO happen in their own time. And I am a true believer in the saying "Good things come to those who wait".
Think about the type of person that you really want in your life...meditate and pray over it. The man upstairs hears you :).

Ladies if your heart was broken in 2010 (maybe more than once),get over the bitterness and stop holding onto the pain and resentment. It only eats away at the beautiful person that is you and prevents you from growing and moving forward. There is much much much better for you out there. Stop looking so damn hard :)

Post is dedicated to Tumaini *mwa* love you babe

Goodbye 2010...Hello 2011

Hello there everyone J (please don’t mind the random smiley faces in between, im a bit of a smiley person like that :p). Firstly I would like to start off by saying thank you for taking the time to read this…I am very very very new to this,when it comes to writing I find I can never really find the words to put down-those that know me and have spoken to me know I’m better at speaking rather than writing.

Anywhoo,there are some of you who have inspired me to say a few things before this year comes to a complete halt.

2010 ,wow, 2010 has been unbelievably unpredictable and amazing. Easily comparable to a lady going through PMS J. A lot has happened, from working for my own pay cheque for the first time to losing loved ones, I have learned and gained a vast amount of experience not only from my occupation but from various personal relationships (family, friends etc). Becoming an independent woman this year, whereby I had to start paying for my own medical insurance and taking out funeral covers and life policies, was a bit of a daunting experience for me. I was so accustomed to being under my parents’ security that when I had to start doing things for myself, I struggled quite a bit when it came to learning how to manage my finances. I got to a point earlier this year where I actually turned to my dad and I said “ Please help, I do not know what it is that I am doing here” and my father being the amazing man that he is sat me down and worked through it all with me. I am proud to say that I leave 2010 a more responsible independent woman :D.

That being said. I feel I need to just touch on an issue that really bothers me at times. Going through this whole “I’m an independent woman tip, I can take care of myself blah blah blah”, I do not understand why other young women do not want to experience that for themselves. They would much rather rely on their “beauty” and what they can do for a man than actually going out there and establishing a name for themselves. So many opportunities are awarded to them yet they choose not to take them. They choose to play the dim-witted “brainless” hopeless character in their own lives and its saddening. Especially when there are so many women (including their own mothers) who paved the way for them to be able to stand on their own two feet. This annoys me so much-I get a headache just thinking about it sometimes. Take pride in the woman that God designed you to be ladies and lets stop settling in 2011.

Then, there are the men who allow this type of behavior. Allow meaning, the men go along with it-they don’t stop and say “hold on a second, what are you doing” to these young women. I suppose its not the man’s responbility…nonetheless,it should be unacceptable. Yes, us women do like to be taken care of from time to time,spoiled and treated like queens, but there are times when we (I will speak for myself here) would like to do the spoiling, the taking care of someone J (so long as he doesn’t make a habit of it) lol. Relationships in this day and age where trying to maintain one’s lifestyle is costly, should ultimately be 50/50. We both bring ours to the table J

Relationships J,I cherish the ones I have and am grateful for all the new ones I managed to make this year, especially on twitter..lol. Twitter has introduced me to a diverse amount of people, some odd & weird (you know who you all are) but twitterville has managed to be my escape from the craziness of everyday life. Sharing experiences, gossip and “drama” with people that relate to me and that I can relate to-I am very grateful for that and I hope the relationships that have been formed with various people continue to thrive even beyond twitter because each and every person that I have interacted with is amazing so *mwa* J

2010 has really taught me to appreciate and to accept the young woman that I am. I learned that its not easy pleasing people, especially if you’re not pleased with yourself.

2010 also taught me that life is very short and at any moment, the Father can call you home. Tell your loved ones that you love them and that you appreciate them. Life is so precious and the mere fact that wake up every morning with air in your lungs, should be enough to make you realize just how special your life is.

I look back at all the laughter, all the tears, all the joy, all the heartache…and I notice how much all of that has made me grow as a person.

2011 is a year that is filled with so much promise, so many possibilities. I am uber excited to get it started-to get that ball rolling.

I dedicate this to @NwaSeramane (Mulayo) ,my best friend for 11yrs now (i love you always choma)

Here is wishing all of you all the happiness in the world and all the best for the new year to come.

Stay blessed and take good care of yourselves

J